The Lileks Zone

A Modest Proposal

. . . which is what writers say when they want to be ridiculous. Well then:

A little-known, unforseen consequence of Obamacare – don’t worry, there can’t be more than one or two – is discussed here, at Commentary. New restaurant nutritional signage requirements. Domino’s Pizza is hit particularly hard, since A) there are an almost infinite number of permutations, and B) hardly anyone goes to the store to see the sign anyway. You can get all the information online, and apparently by phone as well. Doesn’t matter: people who go to the store to pick up a meat-laden pizza may be unaware that they are exceeding their caloric intake for the meal, and that makes Michelle Obama cry, so stores – which average $40K in profits – have to spend almost $5K to put in the signs. And again when they add an item.

So profits go down, or prices go up, which means profits will probably go down. Or the manager can get the staff together, and ask them who voted for Obama. The rest can leave. The manager tells them he’s going to have to fire one of them because of Obama’s regulations, and he’s choosing the driver who makes the most, because he should pay his fair share. Since the owner’s not cold-hearted, he announces he will subtract ten percent from everyone salary to give to the fired driver, and if the driver doesn’t find another job, this will be extended, and extended again, until the driver gets another job.

Any questions? Have a nice day.

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August 2011